Wednesday, 30 September 2015

Humour: Alternative Cookie Policy

Reviewing the website 'small print' finally caused us to flip, somewhere around page 80 of the document....

Cookie policy
Please can we replace ALL of this wording with this instead:

How to control and delete cookies
You can’t control cookies – they have no brains and just sit there waiting to be eaten – similarly, the only way to delete them is to eat them.

Cookie composition
They contain flour, fat, sugar and often an egg, which differentiates them from biscuits – they are also chewier or softer than biscuits, which of course as we all know, are traditionally very hard flat and crisp joyless things created by the British as some sort of punishment for unknown sins. The name biscuit means ‘twice cooked’ and Americans have immeasurably improved them by the addition of loads more sugar and eggs and reducing the effort involved by just cooking them once. This is why British people don’t like Americans. Because they are jealous. Fact.

Types of Cookies
Chocolate chip, raspberry and pecan, and very berry granola cookies.

Third Party Cookies
Definition: cookies made by other people for you to eat. My favourite sort of cookies.

How to reject or delete this cookie: 
Follow the instructions at

Rejected cookies are unhappy cookies – don’t reject the cookies, it’s just an unkindness

Media Content
We sometimes embed photos and video content from websites such as YouTube, Vimeo and Flickr. As a result, when you visit a page with content embedded from, for example, YouTube, Vimeo or Flickr, you may be presented with cookies from these websites. This website does not control the dissemination of these cookies.

Mainly these videos are of cookies. We like cookies.They make us very content.

Their cookies aren’t as good as our cookies though.

General and specific cookies
The cookie general controls the dissemination of the tiny cookie soldiers. Ginger, pecan and lime cookies are a type of very specific cookie.

And from here, things got very silly... RC

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At least try to be nice, it won't kill you...